maybe i shouldnt give a damn
maybe i shouldnt had cared
maybe i should had just keep quiet

afterall i was being blamed scolded cos i did something
which stung
it stung, and no matter how hard i tried to cover up, it did

sometimes i cant believe how insensitive a person can be
not to realise that words do stung
words do hurt

feeling rather blah these few days
was waaaay worrying about history
i knew i wasnt going to get any good grades
yet i was hoping and hoping that i could get something
maybe a subpass?
but that hope seem to diminish
yet, it sounds irony, but i feel this sense of confidence in history
i feel that i can do it in history
i feel that it wasnt that sense of hopelessness i felt last year
that feeling that no matter how hard i tried, i just cant do it
is gone
i think its partly due to what my history teacher said

i dont know what to feel now
i dont know how am i going to get rid of the sting

but i am ok , darl
i am i just need need to let myself forget
and i forget again last night, was way tooo tired totally knock out after finishing my hist essay
i will will will rmb tonight to wait
and i really need to blabble and ramble
oh god, i still haven decided on anything yet
and its just 3 days away
how how how


sometimes maybe it isnt bad when one tried to be alone
even though it may feel weird, but sometimes it really helps
there are times where i need to be alone
like today when i was going home,
i walked the whole of amk central alone
and i did loads of thinking
a lot of stuff that happened since march hols came back to my mind as i walked
and i feel really tired
to some extend, i dont feel like myself anymore
i dont feel like i know myself anymore
i feel like i changed to someone i dont know
and to tell the truth, it sucks
it doesnt mean that when i dont look, feel, or am angry, i dont know how
it doesnt mean that when i never throw a temper tantrum, i dont know how
i do know how to be angry, i do know how to throw tantrum, i do know how to be nasty

to some extend, i prefer to laugh than showing anything
i prefer to laugh even though i fel terrible inside
and laughter is something that is abundant in our class
just need xj and jiahao to start a round of laughters in our class
haha and for some weird reasons, even though they are noisy, i appreciate their presence in the class and i am grateful that they are in our class
cos for days when nothing can make me laugh, they somehow , with their foolish antics,can.

i am freaking tired
not physically
but emotionally
i got no solutions for that.