sick
the whole story
was feeling pretty sorry for myself.
and everything just add to that.
and to the tears:(
yeah crying like a baby.
not that i am afraid to admit
everybody has its own phrase


nobody really understands me
friends, bestfriend, family
cos nobody actually took the time to understand.
think its not true? think again then. how much do you know what i am going through.


since i seldom rant nor show.
since i wasnt able to do what everybody can do.
i wasnt allowed to be selfish, wasnt allowed to be upset, to be angry, to rant.
wasnt allowed to be pettyy
to vent out my frustrations.

i have to be the one that does all the right things huh?
the right things to do to say to react
could not even have a miniscle of imperfection

no wonder i was so holed up in my own world
no wonder i dont want to talk, to have an contact with the outside world

cos i dont feel human anymore.


wanted to just
disappear.
right from here.
now
as i am typing.

live in some cave all by your own is beginning to sound appealing.
damn appealing.

i need a vacation badly.
think i am going to disappear for a week
phones off
offline
uncontactable.


some stupid virus decided to invade my system
damn it.
make me all so sick and groggy.
amazing how i can still type.
the med is working the drowiness on me too.
damn pissed

so i am pissed and upset now.
great.

what happen to the happiness i fooung a week ago?
eaten up by some monster
i guess.

if i was to vomit out what i feel
what i think
what i am going through
i think i can write a long freaking essay.
you could take days to read it.
but then again, who would want to know?
nobody i guess.

all negative thoughts again
maybe tmr when i woke up,
i would think that hey its stupid to think this way.
but now, i think they are true.

great now i feel like vomitting
whats wrong with me?
ate too much chips with cheese.
haha.


i feel like i am on my own.