杨丞琳-暧昧

暧昧让人受尽委屈
找不到相爱的证据
何时该前进
何时该放弃
连拥抱都没有勇气
只能陪你到这里
毕竟有些事不可以
超过了友情
还不到爱情
远方就要下雨的风景
到底该不该哭泣
想太多是我还是你
我很不服气
也开始怀疑
眼前的人
是不是同一个
真实的你
暧昧让人变得贪心
直到等待失去意义
无奈我和你
写不出结局
放遗憾的美丽
停在这里

i am super addicted to that song
:))
after i watched the DBY
damn slow i know


having a headache now
seem to have it for very very long le:(
lack of sleep?
but i have a lot of sleep le leh.
welll
sick i guess.
not surprising.

yesterday rants were on impulse.
but guess they were quite true.

after each happening
i put it aside.
then told myself to forget it.

then same thing happen again,
it open the old wounds.
and it starts all over again.
i never can quite cut it out.

not upset?
it wasnt that simple
i just numb it.
and numb
and numb

and one day, the pain will come back
and no matter how much numbing,
it will still come back.

i am feeling the waves of it now.
like how i could take a knock and then be perfectly okay the next day
next hour.
the numbing thing always work.
then it didnt after that.

its called avoiding?
i guess so.
i purposely avoided a lot of things ever since i could avoid.
haha.
things that put me in direct pain, hurt, awkwardness,
i avoided.
haha simple huh.

but it will backfire , it will.


not now i hope
at least not now.

work tmr at BCS
feels weird
like how i am going back after one month.
i am glad to say my typing speed didnt deteriorate.
HAHA
oh well
nothing to deteriorate since i wasnt fast to start with.

but to OCBC still put a thorn in me
like how i must relearn everything
okay not everything
just sorting
but its good enough to start me grumbling.
lol.

and i cant eat lunch with my buddy
oh well at least alternate weeks bah i can
better than nth huh.

maybe something will come by.
ehh new comers at OCBC?
somehow its just a wish that wont come true.
cos new comers always go to DBS
rah
come just one girl
or a shuai ge also can.
lol.
see see can right?
:D


buddy is happy to see me tmr
i am too:))
very.

feels detached from vann
haven talk to her the whole day.
or two days.
super busy lah going here and there.
i am always a busy woman

my head throbs like hell.
shall take aspirin instead
its better on my gastric.
claud sayys so:D


i looked at the tv
and the actress is crying
ahhhh
emo shows.
i can do without it for now.


was dreaming of weird things again.
this time it was vann nat and me
we were at some place
ehhh field?
then there were tigers
or lions?
they were all sleeping lah.
vann went to disturb one by using her leg to go and kick its face
LOL.
then it wake up.
then began to chase us.
meaning chase the three of us.
so we ran and ran holding hands.
then ran and hopped.
then finally flying like PPG!
LOLOLOLOL.
i dont know why in the world am i dreaming of this.

my brain has a short circuit i think.
was waken up by it
and laughing lah
in the wee hours
like 2 or 3 am?
lol.
lucky my parents didnt see me laughing while sitting on my bed.
might have called the IMH then.

weird dream to have.
whats wrong with me
raccoons, li0ns, spiders, tortoise?
next time i will be dreaming of snakes
or rabbits.
haha.

too much dreams these few days.
i dreamt two last night.
one was the lions,
the other was more of a sweet one.
hello
i dont want to wake up loh.
but i didnt leh, but the dream just end.
but but i like that dream better.
damn damn sweet and good.
HAHA.
hello please happen in reality
but dreams never happen in reality right?
i dont want the spiders lions raccoons tortoise to happen.
too scary.

but i want my second dream
shall not elaborate
its too errrr xinfu and sweet
but it isnt like out of the world
its damn damn real and realistic leh
it will happen in real life de.
LOL.

i want!
:DD
hello, anyone for hire?
haha
come, let me interview you:D
haha.



i want to finish up DBY so badly
but i got to work
okay sats
at my grandma house
i miss miss going there for long loong hours leh.
just reading there.
or sleeping there
or doing nothing there.


oh i met someone damn wonderful
damn sweet
damn shuai
damn nice
damn cool
damn tall
haha

and he is..........


mike he.
LOL
okay thats it, my headache fried my brains
become mush le
i have like eh 3 more months to use it.
so hopefully, it will be okay by then

i miss schooling
well actually the company lah.
not the actual doing homework
block tests
memorising
then fretting over what the hell i am studying and reading which i always did for history.
its like alien language loh.

then pushing my deadline as far as possible.
like my essay is dued tmr
tonight after a long weekend which of cos i didnt do
i start to worry about what to write
tryin as hard as possible to find the information to fit the 3 pages
damn damn long lah 3 pages.

manipulating the words on my notes
to suit my essay and the question.
having to discuss with ritty lah jh lah.
then beryl lah.

like coming up with some million dollar project like that.
super tiring
and crazy.

then having to wake up at 3 am to study but not all the times lah only before the block test jsut one day before the test
then going to school like a zombie all tired and grumpy

then in hist block test
having to spread out my time
cos i have quite little to write
my very not prepared self.
so plan slowly
write slowly
try to dily daly my way
cos its 3 hours leh.
then in the end
cant squeeze out anymore

start counting down
i even wrote out the minutes to count down from 60
mins.

i still rmb jh talking about bringing sudoku to play.
cos we were all not prepared at all.
jsut go there and hoped to spot question
which of cos it didnt happen lah
then going out of the exam hall
feeling like dead so dead

at least i never feel that way in chem or bio or maths or gp
cos there was always not enough time than more time.
cos took too long for one question.

my conclusion was
why in the world did i take history for that time
i ws cursing everytime i had to memorise that whiole chunk of information
what arab israeli war( i can rmb that there was four wars, or not.)
what rf.
cold war
economy
and the UN
oh and india and pakistan
at least that one was straight forward just causes effects
finish.

some historian lah me.
cant differentiate all the many years.
and it wasdry
and so many notes
rference notes
which of cos i didnt bother to read
lack of time lah i always said.
haha.
pull out so many papers i never see before lah
and some of it were jh de or even ritty de.
LOL.

haha
those times
stupid but memorable.

i want to go back school lah
not just any one
but yjc 222 again