i have settled on what i promise myself

or to anyone.

no more thinking yeah.





but i thought about another thing

they always say or ask: hey what's ur perfect boyfriend?

like you know the qualities you looking for.

the looks?

the personality?

the charisma?



i was asked last night

out of nowhere



which makes me think hard

i didnt actually screen my ex to see if he has the qualites to be perfect bf, you know.

kinda stupid, in a way.



so maybe after i think about it,

then next time when this kind of guy comes by,

i will grab him by the collar.

LOL.



the perfect qualities?

no such thing as a perfect guy.

the acceptable guy?

haha more like it.



errrmmm

here it goes:

average looks, as long as it is okay okay.

( i might as well go for beckham if i want handsome ones)



money? nah just average, dont need to pay for everything. i not going out with an atm.



intellectual? average. as long as he gets what i mean most of the times cos i admit i do talk rubbish at times.



someone who can laugh, joke, play with me.



someone who arent serious all the times.



someone who understands me.

(okay maybe not al of me, cos even i dont understand myself at times)



someone who are willing to listen to me.



someone who are willing to talk to me if we have problems.



someone who are sensitive enough.



someone who dont get jealous easily( hmmm does it ring some bells?)



someone who are mild tempered



someone who neevr never uses money or buying material goods just to satisfy me
( is a human, not an atm machine.)

someone who can tolerate my childishness, my blurness, my being slow and dumb.

someone who let me be myself:)

someone not possesive nor obsessive.

someone who knows how to take jokes

someone who well are playful, and not not seriousl and mature
(thats like so not me if he is those serious mature types)

someone who is just well who he is.

someone who can be honest.


then i went back to think whether my ex fits the criteria.
hmmm, think most bah.
yet, it didnt work out.
so its more of chemistry
time
space?
haha.

when i always think about those past
i can only rmb those happy things
whatver that is fight about
i never rmb or seems too vague
:)

i finds a bit of direction.
a bit only.
its a start.
to everything new.

like how i want to put down everything that is hurting me.
and starts again.
no more telling myself
well it will succeed.
it will happen.

cos it just wont.
:)