was watching the just follow law
again, i must admit that your view was right on the dot again
and i hate it when you are right
even when i know when u are most probably right, i still find it a must to challenge you
and have popcorn fight
haha
stupid bastard:)


and i saw this spiderman's trailer
and there was this phrase
" the greatest enemy is yourself."
how i agree with this phrase

there are so many times
when actually the most feared is yourself
of what you can do


what u can do when u are filled with anger
what you can do when u are filled with rage
what you can do when you are filled with jealousy
the thing is we cant know for sure what we can do when we faced with this
what horrors we can do
so seriously, when we are worrying about so much things like disasters, and all kinds of shit
shouldnt we actually worry more about what we can do?

i dont get it
when teachers are all scrambling to get you to do your work
when for example, the block tests are bloody next next week
and we bloody have to study next week in march hols
and the bloody prject deadline have to be right smack in the march hols
god
how am i going to do
when i can only go home at 6pm on monday
and cant even go home on tues cos of the bloody choir camp
and then wed is the deadline
so what? ask pop to meet me in school at 7pm to do my project??!
i cant possibly ask him to meet me after six on monday to project
i cant possibly ask him meet me in the school to do project on tues night
thats selfish
and impossible
i can do it on thurs
but thats means i can dont turn up for block tests le
whats the point
hand in blank piece of paper?
or write crap
i dont like the feeling of being stressed
or being so freaked out
or being so tensed up
but i think i am losing my mind
a bit perhaps
i mean yes everyone has the same or even more workload than mine
and everyone is entitled to a one-you-can-complain-wwhatever-you-want chance right?
one where u can just sit there and cry and grumble and break down
and guess what, i really feel like doing it
:(
i am a really good procrastinator i know
but i guess it doesnt matters
all i want to do is to sit there and cry and break down:(

nobody likes the feeling of failing
somehow, it sucks
even though how much u have been told that failing is the road to succes
or when said in chinese, shi bai shi cheng gong zi mu
but be realistic, the feeling of failure sucks
it wont make you think that it is ok to fail at times
or it wont make me think that way
and i admit i am a perfectionist
but throughout the years, i have learned to take things in stride
to learn to appreciate the not so perfect things
cos they are what made life so memorable and exciting
i have learn not to want and desire every perfect things in life
nothing in life can be perfect to the dot
friendships, relationships, kinship,
these are all give and take situations these are all compromising situations
there is no perfect solutions to these
how many a times when u have to compromise to ur other half
how many a times when in return, he or she have to do the same thing
how many a times when in friendship, we have to give and take
to be able to forgive and forget
to be able to tolerate each other
how many a times, when u have to listen to your mum's rant, tolerate her mood swings
and in turn, she have to tolerate with your rebellious streak( i know i have one)

there is simply no perfect solutions to these
u cant simply just forgo ur relationship friendship kinship cos of these minor things
cos in life, and lets be realistic, there is no perfect things and solutions to everything
no one is perfect, how true.

yet when failing comes, the first instinct for me at least, is that i have failed in something
and thats when i turn reaaaaaaaaaally moody
lol
seriously in jc, when i only passed by half a mark, i am deliriously happy
cos i know thats rare
then i get reaally high
thats how life is i guess
to be able to appreciate everything

appreciating
appreciating what friends, lovers, family do for you
sounds easy
but actually what is appreciaitng
buy valuable gifts to people? say fanciful words to people?
or just simply a thank you is enough?
there are many times where we may forget about appreciating what others may do for you
the tiny tiny things
the small and yet impt things
which we probably take it as necessary
which we probably take it for granted
and yet, we feel lost without them
life is all about appreciating,
we can be really well off
we can be really successful
but if we dont appreciate the things ard us
the beauty the comfort
life is just some empty shell for us

i dont know why am i rambling all this
i am justttttttt tooooooooo pissssssssssssssed
to why life now is a torture for me
instead of a happy thing
what happen to " live ur life to the fullest"
or have i mistaken the phase the fullest torture??

looooooooooong post:(