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i never ever thought i will say this, vann.
i was counting the days to go home right frm the start when i stepped not the ferry to go pulau ubin, because i wanted to go home.
but right now after i took a whole half day sleep, to make up for my depriving sleep since i slept for 4 hrs a night only at obs
I MISS MY OBS
I CANT WAIT TO GO BACK
I WANT TO GO BACK WITH MY WATCH.
I MISS TENZING '06!
i cant believe that i am thinking that way
i ws the one complaining about the fact that they treated us like outcast, ok only me and vann feel that way i think. They talked in malay al the times with two other non malay who know malay. AND I DO MEAN MOST OF THE TIME.
and i always felt so out
now i know what i am always doing in school
and i felt soooo guilty
i wont do it again, i hereby swear.
even though there are times like this, and it was tiring, frustrating and really disgusting especially the part where i cant bathe, i miss it loads
i miss my watch grp the way they motivated me to do thing, the way we can solve everything
the way we rely on each other to wake up in the early morning like 5 am...
the way i know if i have problem doing things like pitching a tent especially the part abut putting the pegs in, i can always get the guys to help, the way they dun ind my dumbness especially the kayaking part..
they way we do the cheer and the tenzing cheer
the way we laugh at things and gossip about pple
the way we NEVER lost anything and even have more to give it to other watch grp,
WE ARE SO DAMN SMART to search for extra pegs so that if we lost , at least we have some extras in hand.
the bottle stopper we have to look for it and get it after playing scissors paper stone
and then realising that we have extra three after having one less..
LOL
it is so rewarding and yes vann addicting.
i want to go back to the 5 days again but i wont count down again
alas i cant go back
so i shall keep the memories deep in my heart
when we are always late to meet our instructors especially during the last night where we get the instructors punished, where we tried so hard to cook, where we tried so hard to keep together,where we motivate each other to go on during our tiring trek, where we help each other to carry the load, i helped carry the trash then i knew the trash was heavy..lol
people say obs course is hard, it is
but there are lessons learned there that would never be able to learn it elsewhere.
those are lessons that let us truely discover ourselves, that let us realise how our teammates are, that let us realise that a team must have a same aim to succeed to keep on going, tell us that teamwork motivates each other to carry on despite that the going gets tough.
i learned all this and learned to treasure all the neccessities in my life, water, bath, bed,fan,air conditioning, phones, a house and loads
my parents' help to clean everything frm my plates to my clothes and shoes.
and maybe learning how to cook also
these are experiences i had gone through

things i will never ever forget

i dont wan to be strangers to my teammates where we act like we dont even know each other in school, after we had gone through so much together.

my teammates encourages me to go on, motivates me to try something i dare not

thanks guys...

the trek was hard but rewarding, each of us mitivates each other to go on,

it doesnt matter if u dont have the physical strength to go on, the mantal strength is the most important.

i really love my watch grp

and my instructors for encouraging me to go on, for praising me, for telling me not to give up trying,for encompassing al my flaws and mistakes.

i never really felt this way before,or even at the forth day

but when i was writing my journal on the last day at the campsite

every feeling started to overwhelm me,

it may not be the last time i say my teammates

especially people like vann(DUH!!), aishah, baqi, ritesh and jieji--classmates

and since we are all in same school, the other teammates like rendy, ghaffar, fazil, sieow ying(my choir mate),wei woon, joshua yeo and lim,jason.

but the feeling will never be the same again.

we wont feel the same way as we feel in the obs course.

the feeling will change

which is kinda disappointing

i never felt so bonded to a team before

i dont mean of course my two fave grp mbc and ak..

but in a camp as a team

these feelings are undescribable

when i was about to board the ferry back to singapore punggol jetty

i couldnt bear to leave pulau ubin i couldnt bear to leave my instructors jonathon and connel.

they had helped me a lot in discovering myself, the abilities i dont know i have in me.

i wanted to swim back when i board the ferry

to try again the obs course with my wtch gropp.

i dont know whether my other teammates feel that way

maybe they feel that finally they are about to leave and not to be my teammate

honestly speaking, i didnt do much for the team.

i wasnt the one encouraging the others to go on, i wasnt the leader,i wasnt active, infact i have to be moved to do things, i wasnt the one bring up the spirit, i wasnt the one planning,i dont know what i have done for the team, maybe i am disappointing to my other teammates.

yet,rest assured that my teammates had done wonders to me for me.

i was disappointed at what i have not done

i wasnt sure what i have done that benefits the team and my teammates.

but that shouldnt be my priority,

dont discount yourself dont ever discount others

i learned that in the course since its one of the aims in the course.

u will never know what you will achieve until u have the ability to TRY.

trying isnt hard, not giving up isnt hard,what u need to have is your never failing determination and perseverence.i learned that now.

sometimes things may not be perfect like the food we cooked, but what matters most is everyone had tried to make it perfect and worked together towards the same goal.

i still rmb this" 14 people, 14 mindsets, nothing can be done, 14 people, one mindset, everything can be done."

and yes i believe it now fully and understood it now completely.

thanks to the obs course, my watch grp mates and my instructors for never giving up on me for making me belive in myself, for making the process so much fun and memorable.

i have many feelings i dont know how to describe.

i miss obs course a lot, i miss the five days so much, i really want to go back to the first day.

to try it again

but once i guess was enough to make me learn.

once was enough to make me realise myself.

i ws the one whu grumble about wanting to go home to bathe to sleep

i was the one who whines about the tiring journey

yet, i never give up.

i belive that u can whine and grumble, but u cannot give up.

positive attitude the key to everything.

and now i was the one wanting to go back again to the very first day after so much wanting to go home. so so ironic.

i wonder whether my teammates have that kind of feeling.

i wasnt very closed with them

not very.

i didnt quite communicate with them.

yet i appreciate every thing they done for me.

everything frm motivating to helping.

thanks guys people. i dont know how much i can say to thank you people.

u all have helped me so much.

i learned to not give up when the going gets tough

i learned that teamwork makes everything able to be done.

Cooperation is the key.

learning to communicate is the key.

things dont have to be very perfect.

i enjoyed the obs course something i never thought i will say that.

TENZING '06 really rocks.