02. create & inspire.

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Tuesday, July 18, 2006

@ 11:44:00 AM

i have been doing a lot of thinking last night

for some reason i can't seem to sleep

i have been doing so much thinking lately that i even surprise myself

lol

wad have i been thinking?? hmmm...

a lot of things has been said by the teachers during ptm..

parents-teachers meeting

somehow or rather i kinda believe wad they said

i lacked practice

i lacked the motivation

i lacked the hardworking attitude

and i always never ask any questions at all

lol

and i AM QUIET

ehh somehow that description dont seem to fit me

nevermind

i was thinking the amt of effort u put in yield the same amt of results

so if u put in 100 percent of effort,

you gt 100 percent of results

so if u put in no effort or little, you gt no results or little

its kinda standard

but sometimes life is unfair

someone may get all the results without putting in efforts

seems so unfair

but again hate to remind you, but life IS UNFAIR
lol is just the way the world is run

UNFORTUNATELY

sometimes in life, u dun have to be right the whole time

u dunhave to argue as if ur whole life depend on the arugement

somehow its better to just let go of certain matters

and dun keep harping on it

otherwise you ended up totally strained and bruised

there are times where it isnt certain tthat u have to be right or to make sure that everyone knows u are right

there are no prize in that afterall

probably just being a little irritating

lol

i hate to argue i hate to fight

i hate to be angry with pple

i hate to think bad of pple

i like a peaceful harmonious life

whenever i argued, i feel ultra bad

i feel like i am the biggest baddy in the world

i dun know why i feel this way but is my character

when i am angry with pple

i think of myself as too sensitive as too petty

whenever i argued , i would stuck myself inside a hole and not come out until the problem is solved

i seem to be the one doing the apology

i seem to be the one trying to fix everything right
i never told anyone if i have problem with them
i just leave it in my heart
and try to solve it on my own.
and then being sad and hurt by myself
i feel like such a fool sometimes
i always never tried to tell anyone how i really feel
seems i always gt the idea that i am annoying someone in the process of telling
so in the end i hide everything in me
i always try as much to act happy
so yeah when i go out i act happy
when i go to school i am happy
but there are times when i obviously cant seem to hide
u know
i tried hard to communicate
tried hard
but it seems that there are no solution to this
either i am too busy
or u are mia
then u said i made you feel insignificant
and that i always went off with my friends
whenever i find u
i always cant
cos u are mia
phone off
dun know where u are
everything
this isnt the way it is supposed to be
AT ALL
IT Really HURTS AT TIMES
but sometimes i guess i am too used to it...
but this isnt a good sign...

about

you think you know me.

XINYI (:
xnn, with a small amount of weirdness,
a big amount of clumsiness, always so blur,
a great loving for sleep, a major loving for shopping, chocolate, fishballs and strawberries
the always blind as a bat, deaf as idontknowwhat,
speak without thinking, do without thinking,
forever dumb and short, never uses her claws
but then again, it still makes her happy. (:

create &inspire.