i am very tiredddddddddddddddddddd
yesterday was expected.
like even before i took the paper.
seriously what could i expect.

i felt so seriously wrecked.
my friends were like" are you going to collapse any moment soon."

:(((((


the most depressing award is mine.


it felt so..alone.
like being cut off from the world.


i feel like woot, i am going to collapse like uno stacko.

family issues has never bring me so much distress before.
but they do now.
if crying doesnt work, i wonder why we, humans still cry for.
waste of tears.
i think i wasted damn many alrdy.

i wish i could talk to someone about it.
but then that had never been possible.
cos i am not vocal enough, and probably no one know, which is because i didnt say.
like one cycle.
if only there is a machine, you know. plug it in and you know that person is upset or not happy.
voila, instant relief!

i dont know why i cant just be myself.
i dont know why i have to keep pretending its okay.
all my haha felt so meaningless these days.
like for the sake of just a word.

its never been me, you know that kind of feeling.
its never been about me.
all my life, i think most of it wasnt about me.
its like i wasnt even important at all.

and i felt so tired of it.
if there is one time that i ever felt the most alone, its probably now.

it feels soo invisible.

yes, i know every single thing is my fault.