happy cny!

i suddenly realised i am an idiot
haha
cos i keep forgetting to buy things
and keep lying to myself
:(

i dont wan to think about it
but i cant:(
guess its hard very hard

i just realised gt tons of things to do
and tat mean multitasking during new year
while bai nianing, i must do my hwk
study( which is basically hopelesscos the only reason why i study is to avoid handing up a blank piece of paper)
and try to catch up on the sleep
which i am still lacking i think
i ammmm totally tired
mentally and emotionally

i need a break from everything
friends love study
money
lack of sleep
from all the problems
all the stupid nonsensical things
accusations
all stupid stuff

on the verge of breaking down last night
i suddenly realise whats the meaning of typing a haha when ur tears are actually rolling down
its super ironic in a way
kou bu dui xin
guesss its someow correct in a different way:(
and i dont know how to fix this whole big chaos
feeling down about this:(

i suddenly felt kinda weird out
and i dont know why
somehow something is wrong or lost

i am actually more excited about wearing my new clothes
haha
like a little kid:)
which is the best:D

i know i will find the answer to my problems:)
CNY:D