its been long since i felt so upset.
and angry.
very angry indeed.

what have i really done to deserve this.
except for being stupidly stupid and mad.

and my eyes are blind.
real blind.
to only see the truth after so long.

no wonder they say i am dumb.
rahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

but i couldnt, could i?
if i can, i wouldnt have to go through this isnt it.
such an irony.

its so fake that i could not stand it, its so fake that i could not fight the urge to roll my eyes, its so fake that i wish i could tear down the mask.

and i hate disliking people.
i hate realising things i am too blind to realise before that.
i so want to be able to forgive.
yet everytime i want to do that, or i did that, something pops up again to change my mind.


i am not a nice person, i am a stupid person.


i always thought i wouldnt be that dumb right.
but i prove myself wrong.

and the thing is i couldnt tell anyone.
cos to anyone, it isnt that obvious.
and if i say, i sound like a big ultra bitch.

but i wish i could say it out loud.
i wish i could say you make me feel real terrible, you make me feel so hurt, you make me feeel so used and betrayed.
you make me wish i never know you before.

i hate disliking people.
i hate feeling so stupid and ask myself why i didnt realise it.
i hate not being able to forgive.
and yet everytime i want to do that, something must pop up to change my mind.

it isnt nice, it is stupidity.
i arent nice, i am stupid.


i wish i can say, HEY, YOU KNOW I HATE IT.
i hate the way you treat me.

can i tell anyone?
no i cant.
:(