i am not mia-ing.
well not really. lol. just lazy. haha.

vann's birthday was overrrrrr.
it was fun and crazy.
lol.
i super love the stayover.
and realised its the first time ak get to stayover tgt in a chalet.
well not really ak tgt, since qingg and xl were not back yet.
i miss them loads :(
come back lah. lol.

i hope you enjoyed it vann.
and the presents (:

so many birthdays coming up.
and hence the urge to find a job.
HAHA.

tuition jobs are not enough to compensate for the lack of money.
LOL.
job please.



on the other note,
if only i have the courage to say no.
but of cos i dont have.
quite obvious isnt it.
despite getting so pissed over it, so angry, so irritated, so upset over so many things,
i still dont get the courage.
i am an idiot.

the feeling is.
when you treat someone with your whole heart, treat someone nice and good, and as a good friend,
and then realised that someone doesnt treat you the same way, not as a friend, making you feel inferior, putting you down, exposing what you are upset about to everyone, hurting your feelings and doesnt care at all.
and it doesnt apply to everyone, just to me.
i wonder, am i really that bad or that worthless.


it feels betrayed, very.
and then you only get to be upset over it alone, on your own. and wondering what in the world you do that offended that person, is it something you do, or say.
but you dont really get a answer.

and i know that it isnt worth getting upset over.
but i cant stop it you know.

it isnt easy to follow what you preach.

sounds stupid isnt it.
how naive and foolish and stupid.
and how you only get to see one's true colour after so long.
its too late, i think. cos i have given all out.

i am bigger than this whole shit, am i?
i hope i am. :(
thats the only way.



okay enough ridiculous ranting.
i got to go for an interview later.
am damn tired.
see ya people soon (: