its like expected.
like what kris says, predictably.
bothered?
not too much.
too used to it.

i rather spend more time on my work, on the friends that appreciate, on my family,
than to dwell on it.
if other people can move on, i can too(:

i had many things in my mind i wanted to blog about.
first.
i saw many yjcians in NTU.
i saw jasmine, one girl from yj band, two girls whom i sort of know
okay not many, but at least there are others.
lol.
then i saw two amksians in ntu.
HAHA
so happy(:

seond,
i keep falling asleep during lectures.
like wth.
i tried my ultimate best, you know.
drink a lot of water
eat a lot of sweets.
sit up straight.
but i still managed to nod off.
nugget. damn pissed.
and to make it worse, i dont understand what my notes are talking about.
my textbooks are my saviours now.
and they are very ex, heart pain:(

third,
tuts are like crap
super stuffy room, with so many students, with the teachers who dont seem like know how to teach.
i was super restless in tuts.


forth,
this is the most irritating one.
i went to school today for nothing.
there was no lab lesson, and nobody told us
i know, we are to check, bt they never tell us where to check, or even must check.
and its like NTU in BOON LAY.
not yjc in yishun leh.
i wasted 3 hours of journey for nothing and 5 bucks.
and my sleep of cos.

crashed vann and claud "mini" tuition.
haha i sat there and read magazines.
damn qian da hoh.
(:

i am damn tired actually.
they say you cannot go for 16 hours without sleep.
i am only 14 hours awake.
haha.




was reading claud blog.
talking about the same thing we were chatting about last night.
vann say i wouldnt understand.
yah, maybe its true.
what i understand though,
is it seems better to stay single.
but then again, different people different( in this short 8 months, i realise how different each person is, like different perspectives, different likes and dislikes)
like if you didnt go through, you would think its not better.
if you did go through, u think its better

like being in a relationship doesnt necessarily make life better and happier
or i should say it isnt like a must.
its like without it, life still goes on, it still can be happier and better.
even more than being in a relationship.
or thats just my skeptical side talking.
or maybe i looked at things differently.
esp since i always am weird.

after all the stupid things that goes with it,
i am so convinced i am happier now.
at least, after these horrible 8 months, no actually is just 4 months, it stops when i work as the bloody admin assistant for ttsh, i am happier( which is ironic cos i keep complaining about how i hate school)
but in terms of emotions, yah.

claud was saying, dont jump in without looking at it, or until there is no doubt, no uncertainty.
then what if the guy is the super shy type, no hope loh.
lol.
then again, guys that are shy, seems rare.
it is to prevent yourself from hurting yourself.
but then we need to have those to learn from our mistakes.
afterall, its not our fault, its the guys' fault.
HAHA(:
self denial works the best, as usual.

lucky i never watch disney shows.
so the"happily ever after" doesnt really appeal to me.
somehow being that would be boring.
like too smooth, no waves.
but then i complain when there is too much waves.
damn hard to make me happy lah.

the love at first sight doesnt apply too.
cos because cos i just dont believe it.
dont know why.
its like too dramatic.
and i loathe anything that is too dramatic
i like watching dramatic love idol dramas,
but then my life is a different story.
simple, please(:
i hate to use my brain to try to figure out the complicated kinks here and there.
therefore,
i like straight forwardness.
haha. anything not straight yet, throw.
anything i not sure, throw.

i learn that in a period of 4 months,
four torturous months.
stuck at nowhere.
not here yet, not there
more than friends, but still not at the dating stage.
so, might as well just cut it off, and including the friends part, cold bloodedly.
at least i feel lighter, happier, and more sane.
it sucks to think and think and never get an answer.


woah, i can write essay leh.
on relationships
haha.
(:

oh yah
HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY BUDDY!
and HEPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY POP!
(: