its tiring.
:((

i fell asleep during the lecture.
just a tinny while.
but enough to make me feel guilty.
jc, i slept during lectures and now uni, again?
whatever miracle that happen in jc will most likely not happen in uni.
and i think that means thats the end of my procrastination.
and the last min study i always do

i am irritated with myself.
cos no matter how hard i told myself to stop being the way i am.
i still went back to the old ways.
i dont really want to sigh and complain afterwards, regretting all the things i didnt do.

i really want to work hard for it this time round.



lecture was on atoms, elements, and chemical bonding.
sounds familar?
hahah jc chem lecture(:

and i just got registered for malay course.
so from next week onwards, i will be studying malay.
HAHA
damn excited(:
then i can communicate with.....actually i dont have malay friends that i talk to on regular basis.
too bad no tamil, if not i can learn, and speak to RITTY.
haha

actually i studied malay
because its the very few courses that have vacancies.
4 to be exact, when i register this morning.

i shall save my french course for next semester.
haha then i can speak french to...dont know who.

i passed my QET.
my so rusty essay skills saved me.
or maybe mine wasnt mark at all.
since it was said that they only marked some. then the rest they put as passed.
i am the lucky one(:
no need english proficiency course.
my timetable is already packed to the brim.






reading my twin's blogpost,
reminds me of what i feel before i start school.

the usual: the i dont have any friends with me( cos rmb? i am always with vann in school, except history and econs, it feel damn weird on my first day that vann wasnt with me, talking and disturbing me:((( )
the i dont want to wake up so early lah.
(530am, it became 15 mins earlier cos the bloody BUS TOOK DAMN LONG TO ARRIVE, and the queue is so long until i dont know which is which)
the i dont think i am ready for it at all.
and of cos i want to go back yj lah.
( 222 sounds so much better than T1)

actually maybe its cos there is this part of me that dont want to move on to the next stage,
cos if i can, i rather stay at the jc stage.
i dont have to worry a thing about stupid electives.
or whether i make friends not. cos i alrdy have them.

i dont really want to adapt to a new environment, or i cant, not very fast anyway.

it sounds stupid, and i know it is stupid.
but sometimes i will think, maybe i shouldnt study so early.
maybe i should just take a break for 1 year.
but then, the acceptance letter wont wait for me for a year.
( and i waited damn long for it, i fretted, i worried, i cried, i sulked, i got angry(at the postman, at the school, at my parents, at myself), i prayed, i made damn many wishes, i reassured myself)

its been 8 months since a's ended.
a damn long holiday.
yet, i dont feel rested at all, or relax, or bored at all.
oh well if i minus the number of months i work, two months plus of rest.
this year passed so fast, i cant rmb exactly what happen, amid all the fun events that happen( birthdays, 222 chalet, shopping trips)
it passed so fast, that it dont feel like half a year or more had passed.
thats cos we didnt go to school to study, somewhat going to school makes time pass slower.

i was so irritated and frustrated and bad tempered last week before school starts
cos i dont want it to start, cos it will mean that i have to move on.
:(
and i know i dont really want to.

but then, here i am.
and school started, second day to be exact.
moving on.
and cursing the stupid flexibility we had.
cos its just...... wrong.

you know, when you go to jc, you are told it will be the most fun time of your life.
then when you go uni, you are also told it is the most fun time of your life.
which makes me think, then who is correct?
only i will know i guess.
now, its jc(:

you know, they say people changes to suit the environment, to try to solve the problems, to get rid of the fear or worries.
its true(:
i striked up a conversation with some random girl( i still rmb her name is kelly) while queueing for the lab coat.
cos we are both queueing for the size xs.
i dont think that happen before in sec sch or jc.
people do changes at times(:


i dont want to regret any things i didnt do, or what i did.