feeling well sad, happy, sad, happy sad happy

HEY JAC!:D
takecare and all the best darling,
gonna miss all the xiaogu-s here and there and laughing like mad with you.
RUBBERBAND!:)
lotsa love:D

suddenly there is this rather down feeling.

many many things happen
or didnt happen.
i am like rushing for breath at the things that happen and that didnt happen.

feel disappointed
my hopes are like lower and lower
and lower
and lower.
dont feel sure anymore.
feels out of place
like there isnt anything for me?
dont know where else i can go or do
cos i wasnt thinking abot it in the first place.
too much optimistic.
was trying to put on a brave front
the" i am fine its okay:)"
but i dont think i can put up for me.
getting tired..
very.


i never hated anyone like hated.
cos at the most i only dislike
and i would still talk to that person if they come talking to me.

but hey i met my ermm DUI SHOU.
if one doesnt know what is simple respect for another,
then i seriously think this person is really rather worthless.
dont you think so?
respect? the simplest thing in a friendship, relationship, partnership.
and you dont get it.
i dont know whether should i pity you
or maybe laugh at you.

cos you never get to know what true friends mean
what true friendship are.
what is the meaning of respect, of compromising.
how warmth a friendship can be

you know what?
I AM SUPER GLAD I AM NOT YOU.
cos i dont think i can surivive
without true friends, without vann nat claud kris my ak buddy and many many more.
those friends who wouldnt backstab me
who give me the respect i need.

so i decided to not be angry but to pity you,really.
they say, treat people the way you want them to treat you.
its true , you know
damn true.
very.
cos thats how the world goes.
most of the times,
but it dont seem to apply to you.

i never dislike people to such extreme before
NEVER EVER
to the point i dont wish to see that person whom i hate face or hear the voice.
cos i understand that everyone has their flaws.
and me too, included.

but guess what?
i think this is the first time
and you break my record
cos i never get angry easily
seldom get angry
never angry for so long.
never dislike someone so much.
my babes would prove that.

then i decided today
that i shouldnt be mad or angry
cos its a waste of my time.
and all important, i think it should be pity.
real pity,
for not knowing how to treat others with respect, with the manners
and for not understanding the meaning of friendship.

glad for people who make me laugh during my boring work,
whether its my 222 babes, my bes, buddy and the funny guys.

but then,
you dont really understand do you?

you dont.
cos you think the world revolves around you.
well everyone thinks so too at times
but to think about it all the times is just way too much.

when i finally rid you of my life
i would be damn happy
but then again, you are never part of my life.
you just make me realise that i love my friends, my bestie a lot.
and make me treasure them more.
and the friendships are truly priceless.

no matter how much you badmouth me or not,
until the sky falls
i dont really give a damn
cos i know it isnt true,
it just irritates me cos you are badmouthing someone who never ever done anything bad to you at all.
and i feel really upset and pissed cos thats my friend.

but then again,
whatever you said about my friend
is never true.
cos like i said, my friends are true friends
no not people like you, definitely not.
so no matter how much you try to poison other people's minds
well dont you think it reflect rather badly about you than the person you are badmouthing about?
obviously, you dont know.

then let me tell you, it does.
truely really.

so from now onwards,
i would change my anger to real pity.
yeah?
cos to you, there should be pity cos otherwise, other kind of feelings would be way too wasted.
they say the world goes round.
what goes up will eventually come down right?
i am just well waiting to see that
i wont laugh, if i really see(though i doubt so cos it isnt like i want to keep contact)
but i would give you the most pitied smile i can muster.

so yah,
continue
and we will see.

let me hear something
believe me,
when i get pissed,
i really do get pissed.
(just ask my sis)


been holding all those above feelings for damn long.
freaking idiot.

in a super not good mood.
mixture of disappointment
and sadness
and irritation.

rahhhhhh
i got this urge to sit in a corner and sulk
or pout.
or even cry.


life is really fragile isnt it?
one moment, you might be laughing at some jokes made,
another moment, you might fear for your own life.
or even dead.