i gt tons of things on mind
gt tons of feelings
and to be honest, i am feeling lost, sad and a whole mixture of feelings

i guess its an evidence how people feelings could influence me
sometimes i guess when u know people ard u are feeling sad,
u just seem to feel for them
not pity, definitely not
but a sense of sadness and wanting to pull them into ur hug..
wanting to take aaway their pain their sadness
wishing that u have the power to make them happy
trying to stay strong for them
when u really want to cry with them
telling urself again and again that you have to be there for them
and trying all kind of way to make them feel better
forgetting all the past quarrels and bad stuff
and the anger or little things bout them
all forgotten
hoping that u make a impact on their life
hoping that u did make them feel better
and always feeling that u could do more to make them feel waaaaaay better
and then finally lamenting urself on ur own inability on not being able to make them smile

loads of stuff running through my brain
somehow i dont know how it become like that
it wasnt supposed to be that way
it was supposed to be sweet
and nice
and really really romantic
anyway it wasnt supposed to end up in fighting
or even arguing or shouting at each other
i admit i was and still am feeling really crappy
therefore tends to be a little harsh than intended
but is there a reason for even you to be that harsh
do i always have to be the one to be the more sensitive one
anyway i dont even know whats the problem about this
i just need need need to study
and need need time to do that alone
is that too hard to understand or even comprehend?
:(
i think something is off
i think we need time off alone

i need to really find out something:(