i love my ak(:
ahh many many love to them.
if only everyday would be like this
blessed(:

i feel
disappointed.
very
that i have to feel it now,
that i have to feel it this way.

today while i walked to vann house.
to prepare for ak mini gathering.
i realise something.
from the start when i started to go van house,
till now.
its like a cycle.

at first when i went, no renovations.
then as i went many times, renovations start.
and now the lifts are built and in use alrdy.

feels like a cycle.
or like going through a phase.
ahh weird.

walking to vann house is like walking to my house.
its a no-brainer thing.
i didnt need to use my brains at all, you know to think for a while whether is this the correct path.
its like impossible.

like vann says, it feels like my house.
like i can go to just take my drink from the fridge,
like i invite myself over all the time.
there are times i just appear at her house without her knowing at first.
HAHAH.

and i like that feeling, i love that feeling.
that feeling of closeness to someone.
thanks bes(:


i never feels the same way again.
i dont think i will ever.
like i will never be the same again,
because it has cross my limits for tolerance.
and for that, i think something changed.

its been manifesting deep underneath and i just realised that like recently.
obviously my eyes got shit la at first.


but why do i still feel guilty, and upset and so so disappointed?
i neve wanted things to become this way.