its a lazy day
it was.

just turns out to be rather unpleasant at the end
how to describe that feeling
insignificance?
or abandonment?
or
naiveness?
stupidity?
madness?

guess
it is a mixture of everything
its that kind
where you dont know whether to cry
or
to laugh at myself
or
to be angry
its just the i-still-dont-know-what-i-supposed-to-deal-with-it feeling.

its like something is wrong somewhere
or what?
short circuit?

why do i got a feeling of being used.

seriously hoping that its just me
thinking too much
worrying too much
paranoid
over sensitive

or maybe
as usual
i am being my denial self.
like how i always told vann
not true lah
cannot be
where got
then actually i feels the same way too
just that i stupidly refused to admit to myself.
yah i call it stupidity
but i still do it anyway

once that feeling come
i still say
hey its not true lah.
twice,
i said cannot be de
thrice,
look how i am now


i rather not knowing anything
not seeing
not hearing
not wondering
not thinking

its more of the less you know or realise
the less you suffer?
hhaha

i am sounding weird
well everryone has off days
today or now
just happen to be mine then.


after when i wake up tmr
i will forget about this.
:)


*after like few hours*
i think i feel better
eevrytime i talk rubbish online
haha
pity that person ah
but he willing de
haha

yeah were laughing at my own rubbish i was typing
not only certified blur
but certified at able to talk about anything also.
woot
:)