its making me irritated irate frustrated mad angry pissed
and basically i blamed myself for it
a doormat, i know
feel stupid for feeling mad and guilty over so many things
cos i am not supposed to do that
but vann knows best

and for once, i hate myself for being so idiot a doormat and so super naive
cant i see it coming in the first place
if i had, maybe i wont be shot by GUN
lol

i wish i had the courage to tell u to get out of my life
to get out of my face
cos i dont really want u in it
but i lack the courage and my guilt conscious and my super doormat behaviour are stopping me




ook happy things
i have currently today tmr sat sun monday for shopping sleeping dazing trying to figure out the best way to avoid getting shot
haha basically my block tests kinda ended temp
and i am glad

it isnt that i have been not sleeping to prepare the tests
i have been sleeping 4 hours each day with the exceptional of last night
so i am not supposed to feel that tired if i were to compare with vann and jiahao
who like didnt sleep or only slept for 3 hour
but i guess sitting there for 2 or 3 hours to do a paper or maybe even 45 mins
is really draining my energy
and thousands of brain cells killed so that probably explain why i am so tired

maths was a lack of time
i was shivering for one hour cos i dont have time to put on my jacket
before i finally succumb to the cold and had to put it on
haha
my words on the paper were horrendous
but legible
haha

and i finally have 2 days to realx before i start mugging again on my bio and chem
which will be hopefully relatively easy cos i had alrdy studied them
so i just have to go through them one more time
and then its over...........................for now
haha

stupid ritty say things also can say wrong
wah lau damn SMART leh him

walked ard AMK Hub with vann
walking ard with my bestie got a way of relaxing me
guess me and vann are like besties besties
haha
and as usual we TALKED A LOT
haha
wooooooooo

and tmr again with bestie
bestie overload
haha
but i like:)


i am left with wondering a lot of things that happen recently
is it cos of some reasons?
is it cos of what i think it is?
is what i think correct?
haha vann i still believe in my instinct:)

i am left with many qns and super confusion
but since i couldnt get most of the answers, i shall forget about it.


oh i saw this phrase today
" the best and most beautiful things cant be seen, heard or touched, it must be felt from the heart."
and its true:)

slacking day
:)